Down, but most assuredly, not out

Trying desperately not to rant in public.

Fire, acrylic on paper adhered to canvas, by artist Michelle Lindblom

Most of what I have written lately has been filled with angry rants about the national malaise in which we currently find ourselves, well, half of us, anyway. I have been consumed by all the other tirades in the media fueling the fire within my soul; writing is a great way to vent dark vibes.

My heart is heavy as if I have lost a best friend, which, in this case, is decency. Thankfully, I also consume historical, factual, and less emotionally fueled perspectives for sanity's sake. I will not deny what has happened, but I also don’t want to be consumed and driven down into a black hole by the blame and the rage assaulting us 24/7.

Balancing my reading and reactions has been my go-to lately. As an Aries, I will most assuredly continue to ram through this shit storm. Funneling my anger in ways that will, in time, be for good. What I will not do is keep it all inside or I will explode.

Wanting so badly to refer to our 47th President as Madam President, President Harris, or Kamala Harris, President of the United States, I’m having a hard time believing that just 1.5% more of voters could or would not go along with what I perceive as a totally conceivable outcome. 1.7% of votes went to other obscure, no-chance, and protest-vote candidates. Don’t get me started on those who chose to sit on the couch and/or the Electoral College and its devastating effects on many of our election processes, past and present. It all stinks.

The frustration within my bones is incredibly intense and wildly fluid to the point that I can’t seem to compose much without it leaking out into every sentence I write or speak when the subject comes up.

Vice President Harris had all the makings to become a great leader for our country, and we royally screwed her over. I am pissed on so many levels and with so many of my gender and the men who felt/feel dt and his clowns are their tribe. Still, I also hold myself accountable for this mess because the dishonest, hateful, and vile underpinnings we are experiencing have been boiling on low (with occasional chaotic flare-ups) for so long that we’ve become numb. The warning signs were there, but we chose to look away as we continued to be lulled into a false sense of comfort. In addition, I know and believe that many folks were/are just trying to survive and provide; politics and voting are not their priority.

As a realist, I know that many out there do not believe a woman should or could be president. Those are the same people who choked on their own belief systems the whole time Obama was the leader of the free world. These folks seem to be out for revenge and hell-bent on protecting their antiquated beliefs about the inequality that they’ve been striving to promote since the dawn of time.

I heard someone say recently, “Well, maybe Kamala can run for governor of California. Let’s see if she can handle that role.” Really? What kind of bull is that?

Women have been in charge for thousands of years, albeit mostly behind the scenes. Thus, their/our recognition has gone unnoticed and undervalued. It’s been evident throughout history that those in power fear women to the point that they will do anything to thwart them. Women are all too familiar with this misogynist manipulation because every one of us has at least one personal experience.

Some women choose to share those personal journeys, while others prefer to keep it on the down low. I manage an array of life's challenges by creatively sharing thoughts in my little section of the world through painting, writing, and reading. And when I read something that resonates with me, I comment if that option is available. Because I want to believe that connecting en masse with others will save us from the malicious forces that have risen so blatantly and whose only purpose is to exhaust us emotionally and physically. And maybe, just maybe that is the minuscule sliver of the “silver lining” amongst the whirlwind of mayhem: creating community. After decades of ultra-individualism and a culture of greed, it is time to realize that we’ve always functioned better together despite our diversity and, more importantly, because of our diversity.

This is what Kamala Harris lived, talked about, and would have continued to foster. To the detriment of us all, that ship has sailed. And it may not return.

We do not know what lies ahead. Despite pundits spouting garbage and misinformation at all ends of the spectrum, there are too many unknowns. There is no crystal ball, and no one will come to sweep us up onto that Disney-fabricated white stallion and ride us away into the sunset. Those of us living in reality have always known this truth.

I hope that those who chose to allow this toxic, misogynous, hate-filled circus to return will soon regret that choice and instead join us in doing something about it.

I am moving forward, as always, with my antennas up and my creative juices flowing.

Michelle Lindblom