Life can often feel like walking
mindlessly into a cave
Where there are no known facts
of what is beyond our existing vision
A seemingly dark
and heavily anxious space
Mystery is ever-present
Uneasiness abounds
Each day, I enter that metaphorical cave
Taking a walk in mystery
Sometimes, there is intense uncertainty
or unpredictability like I have never known
However,
I no longer walk
surrounded in fear
What lies ahead does not give me pause
I choose to commence
despite any hovering hesitations
How did I get to this mindset?
Years of worrying
Disrupted days and nights.
Living on the edge
of numerous proverbial cliffs
Asking myself
when will the next ball drop
With blunt force
or a more nuanced slap
Spending my days in
a constant state of disquiet
The hamster wheel
ensnaring my thoughts
Refusing to let go
because of pride
Placating
my need for comfort
Avoiding the dark face of my fears
denying their existence
Finally,
taking that leap
Stirring up the faith
within me
Taking the Leap
Some of these words are from a prompt I wrote about the “Coming of Winter.” It is not just winter that surrounds us with uncertainty and darkness. Ambivalence and worry are always in season.
We all know that worry is an unproductive and futile emotional response to life’s disruptions and battles. Unfortunately, many of us do it anyway.
It is a learned behavior passed down from all the worrywarts who came before us. To ruminate is to feel like we are doing something, anything, while someone is in peril or we feel out of control.
Newsflash.
Worrying will not move the needle to the solved column if it is out of control. I wish I had come to these conclusions a bit earlier in life. However, those experiences are what led me to this awakened mindset.
Knowing fear and worry is conquering fear and worry.
Taking that leap with an unwavering faith in ourselves. It takes only a few jumps before we feel a level of comfort with the process of letting go.
Worry is the fear we manufacture; it is a choice.
Image: Walking in Mystery, acrylic on canvas 36" x 36"
This piece underwent numerous iterations until it reached its current form. As I reflected on the work, I realized that several subconscious revelations had emerged. Three small figurative images are walking in the distance. They may symbolize me, several shadows of me, my family of three, or other figures in my life. I am still not sure. I am intrigued by the idea of walking in mystery and having faith in the unknown.
Seems to be my theme this week. "Reflection"
Last night I watched 'Tracks' again. (Netflix) It’s been a while since I revisited this movie and with a different mindset. Your words play well with the whole concept of time, worry, fear. To have faith in your own path is the key. Your artwork fits well into this theme, as she Robyn, has quite a few mirages on her journey, which is represented in the piece. Well done.
Ciao Eva.
Beautifully said Michelle. The piece is also awesome!