Home - A Dwelling or A Mindset?
As a noun, home is defined as a structural dwelling where one’s domestic affections are at the center, or an institution for the sick, homeless, etc.: nursing home, homeless shelter, or a retreat for an animal. In broader terms, it is like “place”, such as a region where something is native or most common, a refuge, a person’s native place, or their own country.
Home: My Mindset
Whenever I travel or move to a new place, the question of “where are you from?” comes up, partly as a conversation starter and because of my distinct Midwestern dialect. In addition, folks are simply curious and often find commonalities when discussing “home” or “place of birth”.
When thinking about this question more internally and philosophically, I realize that my home is not any one place or dwelling, at least not in the traditional sense.
Not Belonging to Any One Place
I was born and raised in the Midwest, and always felt a weird sense of not belonging. These feelings were initiated early in my shy and awkward youth. As a loner, prolific daydreamer, and cloud gazer, I often visualize traveling, living, and being in other places.
I was listening to a TED Talk while driving to the Oregon coast, and a woman was discussing how to answer the question of “where’s home?”. A question that was often posed to her as a current American citizen born in an African country. She has spent most of her life in the United States, but returns to visit Africa, where she grew up. She eloquently stated, after attempting to answer the question truthfully all these years, that she believes no one place is her home.
I realized at an early age that my place of birth was not going to be the place I would be attached to or call home. It was a dwelling during my younger years, a place where I grew up, but not a place of refuge or one that would foster my eventual sense of self.
Fostering Sense of Self
Just as the woman in the TED Talk, I prefer to think of myself as a citizen of the universe. I absorb whatever I can and wherever I can—learning to foster my sense of self through that absorption. Moving beyond the boundaries of what tradition holds tight. Instead, adapting and allowing refuge and comfort in numerous dwellings, places, regions, people, relationships, and ultimately, in my own skin.
Where is Home?
Here is a blurb from a writing prompt answering the question: Where is my home?
My head is home, what is inside my head, what goes on in my head while I’m actively doing other things. My head is my home because that is where I think, where I mull over decisions that are mine and mine alone. Inside my head is where I begin to create, where I turn what I see and experience each moment of the day into something tangible or not. Sometimes those ideas never make it to the canvas or the paper. But they continue to swirl around in my head.
No one can enter my head literally, but they can enter through the side doors, if I allow it. Over the years, I have gradually and even deliberately allowed others to participate in what goes on in my mind. Opening up, sharing, collaborating, and accepting, rather than keeping all my thoughts, ideas, and feelings closed off without allowing others to experience them. I do this through my art and writing.
Home: House of Four Rooms
There is a Native American proverb stating that everyone is a house of four rooms: a physical, a mental, an emotional, and a spiritual room. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time, but unless we go into each room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person. - A House of Four Rooms by Rumer Godden
Home, in its purest form, is within us.
Establishing self-care rituals that involve each of these rooms is how we can create a foundation.
Keeping in mind that tending to each of the four rooms equally is not realistic. Different days bring up varied energies. Which’s why simplifying your self-care routine can help capture some of that energy. In other words, focus on what needs more attention at present.
Avoid performing at high levels all the time in those routines. Also, remember to consider how your rituals affect others, directly or indirectly, because self-care is also being aware.
Your home is within you, and feeling that sense of place includes your community, whether it be temporary or permanent.
Image: Nomad in Nature
“Nomad in Nature”, 24" x 18" mixed media monotype. I selected this piece because we are all nomads wandering around our environments searching for, experiencing, and discovering our true selves. Our homes are not a particular place or dwelling. We are nomads, and our home is within us.